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Address: Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

It was a road trip up to Kuala Lumpur with the dudes. The purpose was to fetch another dude who was flying into Malaysia from Australia on a budget flight and to have a male-bonding and food tasting adventure. Male bonding as in the rocking to Queen in the car as we speed along the wide open highways and not referring to us acting like queens and making the car rock in some obscure, dark rest-stop.

The trip up to the city went surprisingly well. The nationality of our car was rather cosmopolitan. There was a Taiwanese/USA citizen, a Malaysian, an Australian PR/Singaporean and the plain old Singaporean. I had stray thoughts before the trip that if we were to perish in a crash, we would probably make the news in 3 to 4 different countries.

The first thing we did in KL was to contact a local there. The local dude promptly drove us to Restoran Port Village in Port Klang - a good 45min drive. Said dude was hell of a driver - meaning he was damn good at getting from Point A to Point B in the fastest manner while avoiding fast moving obstacles…obstacles that would not be so fast moving if he was less hellish in his driving though.

Restoran Port Village (Port Klang)

The Restoran (Malay for restaurant..just like Bas is Malay for Bus…and Komputer is Malay for Computer..the list goes on) is essentially built on stilts and extends into the sea, pretty much like a pier or jetty.

We spotted the local dude lugging his heavy laptop bag into the restaurant. He cautioned us that criminals in Malaysia were able to detect the presence of laptops in the boots of cars. That was pretty advanced technology those thieves were using if it was true. Welcome to Malaysia… I thought to myself.

The food came fast and furious. The Bee Hoon Fried with LaLa (cockles, shellfish) was praised by the dudes. We ordered seconds for it.

The Fried Squid was savory and tasted fine as usual cooked in such a style. The item cooked with Lady’s Fingers and Chilli was either a variant of Mantis Prawns or Crayfish. Either way, I liked it.

The Prawns we ordered cooked in Nestum (a sort of cereal, like oats). A safe choice.

The Crabs we had were the Pepper ones. There was some difficulty in extracting and separating the flesh from the shell. We uniformly agreed that it was because the crab was either over-cooked or had not been very fresh in the first place.

We topped off the Meal with a drink of Coconut. Now…we had expected the tasty and young Thai variety. Instead we got the old and mature type that had flesh that was tough and hard to get to. If I was a Male Chauvinist, I would have used the above as an analogy to the type of woman that guys would probably prefer…thankfully, I am not a Chauvinist and would never dream of making that comparison. heh.

The meal came up to only RM 167 for a party of 5. Our local host insisted on paying. There was tugging and pushing on who gets to foot the bill, Chinese old man style - I relented after being threatened with the taboo of showing disrespect. Thanks Colin.

Hong Kong Dim Sum (Jalan Alor, Kuala Lumpur)

The next day, we wanted some good old fashioned hawker Dim Sum. We figured that since KL is full of Cantonese speaking Chinese, the Dim Sum served here would naturally be awesome. We knew we were in trouble when the proprietress came up to us and took our orders in Malay and a smattering of English. This is akin to a Caucasian serving up Durian…

There was obviously some mis-representation involved. And we had to have such luck as to choose this particular store. The empty tables tell the story quite well.

Siew Mai, Chicken Feet, Beancurd Skin, Glutinous Rice and some other prawn Dumpling thingie. The taste ranged from poor to mediocre. Regret man…compounded when we saw a popular eatery further down the road that was manned by actual Cantonese Speaking Chinese….further compounded when I got back and was informed by parents to avoid this particular store..argh. Cost came up to RM 29.

Dunkin Donuts (KLCC train station, Kuala Lumpur)

Although we tried to steer clear of western cuisines, we could not resist the temptation of the colourful display of donuts at the Dunkin Donuts outlet.

It was refreshing to be able to inspect the selection on offer and take in the smell of the freshly baked donuts - until I realised that this setup also exposes the goods to mucous fluid deposits from any inconsiderate patron.

We had a box of 6 donuts (RM 10.50) with an assortment of filling: vanilla cream, banana, strawberry, the common chocolate and the more exotic green apple sauce.

Famous Ngau Kee Beef Noodles (Near Jalan Alor, Kuala Lumpur)

Following some useful information one of the dudes got from a online forum, we managed to track down the supposedly famous Ngau Kee Beef Noodles.

Erm…the sign did say that they were famous…so I guess they must be.

The eatery apparently established itself along the sidewalk next to a building. The layout was simple: stretch a tent from the wall to a bunch of poles out on the streets, put in a few stoves, tap on a nearby water pipe, lay out some tables and chairs and you will have a kitchen and dining area put together quite nicely.

Malaysian eateries believe in the spirit of self service. Thus, the basket of spoons and sauce holders.

Even the chilli itself was presented to us in the form of claypot for self servicing. It is at this point when folks that are more particular about cleanliness will probably freak out with the thought of thousands of people sharing that same pot of condiment day in and day out.

The chilli was excellent by the way.

We tried the Soup and Dry versions of their Beef Ball and Beef Tripe Noodles. Both fantastic. I think the key was in the use of minced beef meat in both versions. Dipped in the chilli, the beef parts took on a whole new dimension of taste. The soup was savory and flavorful.

The cost cam up to RM 26 for 4 portions of the medium size servings plus drinks. Slightly pricey for a roadside stall…but hey..they are famous.

Fried Kuey Teow at Open-Air Hawker Place (Near Jalan Imbi, Kuala Lumpur)

The same forum guide directed us to this place for the Fried Kuey Teow (flat noodles cooked in dark soy sauce). The vibes of the place was so darn exciting. It was something that you would not be able to find in Singapore. Well…you have the open air food court, Glutton Bay, near Marina Square. But that place was just too pristine and clean to qualify.

Foodies need to be challenged with the risk of water borne diseases like dysentery or cholera to make that plate of Fried Kuey Teow that more tasty.

Each plate (RM 3) came to us fried with oodles of cockles. No need for health inspection or sanitary checks at this place. All that matters was the quality and taste of the food. And it did not disappoint. It was excellent stuff. The noodles looked greasy but they were not soaked or mushy. The bean sprouts were crunchy. And the fried lard bits blew my mind away.

Inspired, we started ordering from the rest of the stalls. The Yong Tau Hoo (RM 8.00) was simply amazing too. They were springy and taut. The soup base also contributed much to the success of the dish.

The porridge (RM 3.50) that one of the dudes ordered was professed to be superb. I refrained from tasting it partly due a desire to conserve my appetite for other fare and also because said dude commented that the porridge contained pig blood cubes. According to the dude, pig blood cubes have been banned by the Singapore government due to the health risk that it poses. I am inclined to side our government on this. Going by my luck, I could be the first super carrier for some virulent pig virus that manages to cross the pig/human divide. I would forever be tarred as a the origin of the next HIV like epidemic or something. Rumours might even fly about that it started with me having canal intercourse with ..erm..pigs.

The chicken wings were quite tasty too. Although the store owner tried to push a whole bag of 11 chicken wings to us when we only ordered 2.

Well…I think we did get some of our items at the “tourist” price. This stems from the fact that we did not let our Malaysian dude do the dealing and wheeling in the native language of Cantonese. The instance that we order in Chinese, we would have been branded as gullible and marked for the more premium prices.

So our Kang Kong and Cuttlefish was served to us at RM 10. It was good nevertheless.

Hokkien Mee (Petaling Street, Kuala Lumpur)

That very same night, we went in search of more food at Petaling Street, the Chinatown of Kuala Lumpur. There were some changes to the place since my last visit 2 years ago. They have built a high glass roof over the various alleys that run through the place, ala our own Bugis Junction but without the air conditioning. Progress.

The Hokkien Mee stall near there was suppose to be well known.

So was the Lychee Drink that the stall waiter helped us order…at a premium over buying from the stall direct of course. Which was kinda wasteful considering the original stall was located just 5 metres from our seat…

As you can see, the Hokkien noodles (about RM 10 per plate…we might have enjoyed the “tourism” price) differ from the Singaporean Hokkien Prawn Noodles. They are black in colour due to the use of dark soy sauce. The version here is super greasy and obviously meant to very rapidly induce blockage of a majority of a person’s arteries in double quick time. The verdict…average.

My mother’s rendition of the Hokkien noodles would fare better.

Char Siew & Wan Tan Mee (Near Jalan Alor, Kuala Lumpur)

Less than one hour later, we are back for supper. Location now would be some back alley street near Jalan Alor.

This is an experience not to be missed. Buying supper from a road-side stall. Thanks to our overlords and ever vigilant masters/protectors, we will never see such a sight in Singapore.

Part of the experience also involves sitting next to a row of buckets and pails filled with erm..liquid. Liquid that we assumed were meant for washing the bowls and utensils until one of the hawkers there started filling cups with said liquid and serving them to the patrons. That particular hawker also took particular pleasure in chopping up ice very close to me with his rather lethal looking pick. I could tell as the ice bits were hitting my groin area with considerable force. O…K….

The Noodles (around RM 3.50) were tangy and bouncy in texture. There was quite a bit of the Char Siew (the brown kind) and the Wan Tans were of good quality. Quite a good food find man.

Famous Secret Bah Kut Teh (Medan Imbi, Near Jalan Imbi, Kuala Lumpur Tel: 03-2141 4064)

We would not miss having a Bah Kut Teh meal at Kuala Lumpur. The ever reliable list we obtained from the online forum had indicated a good place for Bah Kut Teh near Jalan Imbi.

We managed to stumble onto this Famous Secret Stall that seems to fit the description.

Of course, self service is key.

The place served Yam Rice (RM1 per bowl). Yay!

We ordered a side of Fatty Pork (RM9).

Until we realised that the Bah Kut Teh (RM22) we ordered was the mixed version and had quite a bit of the same Fatty Pork in it. There was also offals mixed in.

Of course, the Tau Pok (RM2) and You Tiao (RM3) are essential.

We were then touted with other dishes. The Fried Bean Curd (RM10.50). We need something was amiss then. A famous stall would not stoop to offering other varieties of foodstuff.

Gasp..the electronic thingiemajig that calls for service remotely was also working. What was worse was that we were presented with a fully itemised bill. Argghh…no self respecting old school, traditional, original Bah Kut Teh stall would be so modernised.

We then spotted a smaller and more run-down stall that would have fitted better the description of the stall we were looking for. Arrghh…

Toast Box…(Mid Valley Mall, Kuala Lumpur)

Our food adventure then took a drastic turn as our next food stop was actually at Toast Box…

Overpriced French Toast, Kaya Toast, Toast with Hay Bee Hiam (shrimp bits), Kaya Buns and Tea.

And Half Boil Eggs.. At RM 30.70 for 4.

We finished off that day with a visit to Kentucky Fried Chicken..and we never got to taste the reputable Satay from Kajang, Kuala Lumpur. Nevertheless, it was truly a great feasting. It would take many a days of jogging to work off the extra lubber we all put on but it would be well worth it. Till next time.

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