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Wedding dinners - the bane of all single people. Also, commonly dreaded as the red bomb. More so when it is nearing the end of the month and any hopes of acquiring some savings are instantly wiped out when one receives the wedding invitation.

I could never really comprehend why we must subject ourselves to wedding dinners. Couples who have gone through this ritual have termed the event as one that “they just want to get over and done with”. Friends, colleagues and familly members invited by the couple willl normally sigh with some form of resigned acceptance that their weekend/weekday night will now not be spent lounging in the comfort of their home watching the latest “Lost” or “Prison Break” DVD.

In fact, they only reason I can fathom for the continued existence of wedding dinners is the presence of a secret cartel of hotel and restaurant owners. These people probably have in place a nefarious system to insidiously brainwash generations of chinese people into thinking that a wedding dinner at a hotel or restaurant is needed to make our parents happy through the gathering of reluctant relatives and friends to partake in seriously overpriced food.

How else can one explain the acceptance of riffs of ”The Final Countdown” and strobing lights accompanying the entrance of the first dish of the wedding banquet (in extreme cases, the hotel will send out waiters twirling batons of fire followed by waitresses carrying huge containers of dry ice thus creating, in my opinion, a rather hellish prelude to my dinner…not to mention that the strains of “The Final Countdown” are still ringing in my ears). 

Anyway, the wedding I attended was quite nicely done. It wasn’t tacky at all. The first dish is normally the “Cold Dish” - an assortment of appertisers.

The 2nd dish would be the soup, Shark’s Fin Soup. This confirms my suspicion that the above-mentioned cartel is truly evil.  No sane person would have looked at a shark and said to himself, “hey…that looks like quite a dangerous creature. Let me hunt it down and to really show my superiority…I will just cut off its fins and throw away the rest of its perfectly edible body. Yes…that is what I will do. In fact, I will start a trend to have people eating just the fins.” *cue in manic laugher* 

Roast Chicken. At least all parts of this animal is consumed - inclusive of the backside. Thus lies the enigma of the Chinese people.

Fish cooked cantonese style with soy sauce.

Mushrooms & Vegetables. Crab sticks.

Pork Ribs Cooked with Coffee Powder. Another staple of Cantonese cuisine in recent time.

Glutinuous rich cooked in Leaf.

The Dessert.

I guess why I am ranting about wedding dinners is because I am planning for my own. I recognise the senselessness of gathering a whole bunch of people in an non-intimate setting but I will most probably be carrying out this ritual. I would rather mark the day with a a cosy and simple dinner with friends and close family members then contribute to the earnings of the evil cartel.

Sigh…the cartel is strong…maybe I can have my entrance to the wedding banquet accompanied by the theme music to star wars (the Darth Vadar riff in particular)…heh…my own private resistance.